My first book: "How to Dress Like a B... Gent"

[alden]

Since I happen to know and hangout with a few real bonafide Gentlemen and I know very well how they dress, I have decided to write a book called “How to Dress Like a Bl…. Gent.” Ok I am not firm on the title yet but I thought you guys might help me.

Well here is the final draft going into the publisher:

“To dress like a bl….. Gent, have three identical suits cut by any tailor (SB or DB doesn’t matter a whit which) in English dark gray worsted. Buy or have made a white cotton shirt with a modest collar not exceeding 8 cm in point length. Knot a very dark blue tie, plain or with very small motifs. Choose plain dark gray stockings in wool. Braces or black belt, your choice since no one is going to see them anyway. Wear polished black shoes, very old, very worn shoes. Immediate death sentence to be executed at the Tower of London, for anything like new shoes or shoes made in Hungary, Italy, Germany….anyplace that ends in a “Y” or is not Northampton. There you have it. Now get on with it!”

My publisher doesn’t think he can get any advertising revenue from my work. But he did appreciate that there are not dozens of glossy color prints, mainly of shops and logos, in the book. He thinks I may have taken conciseness a bit too far. I don’t think so since that is all anyone needs to know to dress like a bl....gent. Oh and he is getting an awful lot of complaints from shoemakers in Hungary, Italy and Germany looking for advert space to reel in unsuspecting wannabes.

Cheers

[Screaminmarlon]

The king is naked

[uppercase]

That dress code all sounds very boring.

If that's all there is to it, what have I been reading the blogs for all of these years?

And what about weekend dress in the country where the real action begins after all for a true gentleman ?? Pink tweeds and breeches I presume.

I do agree with you though about the place of English shoes however only came to that conclusion at an advanced age and so don't know what to do now with 90% of my shoe collection.

Not to mention that I still don't own a pair of black English oxfords. Much less brightly polished.

Obviously, I will have to study up some more if it is not already too late though I probably won't be buying your latest book and will be looking for a more evolved blog than this as not much here fits in with my views.

Thanks though for the preview.

[alden]

And what about weekend dress in the country where the real action begins after all for a true gentleman ?? Pink tweeds and breeches I presume.

UC

You proved my point...you already know.

But in reality I think you would be disappointed by our Gents of today though a few "old guys" still wear 3pc tweed suits, or tweed jacket and cords, boots or bluchers in dark brown only, wool ties, cashmere scarves. There I wrote the second and final chapter of the book in about twenty words.

It is not a very inspiring image but it is alas a truthful one. And the bloggers do have so much more fantasy, in every sense of the word. Their costumes can be amusing if fantasies are your thing. I am not suggesting, of course, that anyone try to dress like these Gents or anyone other than themselves.

My own editorial line has been consistent since 2005 and so this piece of satire about the rank commercialism of publications, online and off is nothing new. I have never permitted infomercials, agendas, occult advertising on this forum. And many have tried and many have failed in those eleven years. I can assure you. That is what makes the LL and the vast reservoir of real information posted here different from the rest.

Now get some real black oxfords, choose your poison as long as they are from Northampton, and distress them.

Cheers

[hectorm]

Well here is the final draft going into the publisher:
“To dress like a bl….. Gent, have three identical suits cut by any tailor (SB or DB doesn’t matter a whit which) in English dark gray worsted. Buy or have made a white cotton shirt with a modest collar not exceeding 8 cm in point length. Knot a very dark blue tie, plain or with very small motifs....

Michael,
I'm afraid there's been a leak and this fellow got a hold of your book beforehand and is following your advice already.
Not fair. I wanted to be first.

[Noble Savage]

No reason why this noble tome shouldn't be leather bound with a gold stamped title.

[alden]

Michael,
I'm afraid there's been a leak and this fellow got a hold of your book beforehand and is following your advice already.
Not fair. I wanted to be first.

That's it! I will have to speak to my editor about this leak!

You guys here is something you have to print out and paste on your refrigerator: "There is no such thing as boring clothes or dress, there are only boring men."

The most "boring" of clothes will be made fascinating by a fascinating man. And as we see on a few "style" blogs, the most fascinating of clothes can be reduced to earth deadening boring, by BORING MEN. That is to say, most men for whom a pulse is optional equipment.

Frank Sinatra, an "old man" who was a singer and not a bean counter though he made a ton of beans, used to say that for going out on the town a man should only wear a dark gray suit, white shirt, black tie and black shoes. Pretty boring indeed. Take a look at the RAT PACK sometime. Dressed as boring as that I'll bet ole blue eyes never got a date, poor fellow.

PS: For those of you from foreign climes, countries that end in a Y, my father used to say about Sinatra with a jealous glint in his eye "Frank had 'em all, every single one of them." How did he do it wearing such boring clothes. Just think what he might have done had he read "Dress like a Gent!"

Cheers

[andy57]

shoes made in Hungary, Italy, Germany….anyplace that ends in a “Y” or is not Northampton.

Wait, they make shoes in places that are not Northampton? I'll keep a look out next time I'm in Jermyn Street.