I am Best Man, advice please

[kirsch]

Hey guys,

Well, my best friend just got engaged, and he has chosen me to be Best Man. He knows of my strong interest in gentlemen's fashion and asked me what we need to wear at his wedding.

That said, I wanted to ask you all !

Here's some info:

Wedding will be at 5 p.m. in the month of October in the southeastern United States. For those who don't know, that means the temp will probably still be in the 70s (degrees F). The wedding is inside, however.

He mentioned that his bride wanted males in pink bowties and pink vests. I think that would look pathetic, but.....it's "her wedding," you know?

Do I have any options to keep this as formal as possible?

If you can, please describe as much detail as possible (ie winged collars vs fold down, etc.)

thank you!

chris

[ER]

And how much input is your friend having on the design and colour of his fiancee's wedding dress? Being as it is the US and at 5pm it has to be black tie. Simple. Job done.

[Degendorff]

It seems that the wedding is more of a pink tie event... Isn't there any way to tell the bride that pink isn't beautiful let alone kind of inappropriate? May be a pink buttoniere or pocket square would please her? One argument could be that everybody would have to buy a pink vest and bowtie since it won't be part of everybody's wardrobe.

[kirsch]

yeah...i'll try to talk to her about it. I told the groom we are supposed to wear a black bow tie. It's hard, though, because, in the end, "it's her wedding..."

i'm going to run the pink pocket-square thing by her. I don't know why girls insist that guys wear stuff that matches their dress. Black alone does just fine.

[RWS]

I think that an American wedding held at five o'clock in October will begin and end in broad daylight. Dinner jacket -- black tie -- would be no more appropriate than evening dress -- white tie. Why not ask the groomsmen ("ushers") to wear their own dark (charcoal, navy-blue, even black) two-piece suits? The groom might give each man a necktie set to show that each is a member of the wedding party, and that he can wear afterward with glad thoughts of the wedding.

Of course, as tradition is, knowingly or not, so often violated today, you mightn't succeed in dissuading your friend from his wrongheaded course.

[DD MacDonald]

Black tie, white linen in the pocket, pink flower on the lapel, tons of champagne. Go traditional all the way. Appeal to what's good about the South, tradition. (The bride gets to dress all her maids, don't let her mess with the gents, but be gentle).

Have a blast!

[alden]

The answer to the question is the morning coat if one wants to do it exactly right for a daytime wedding.

M Alden

[bry2000]

The answer to the question is the morning coat if one wants to do it exactly right for a daytime wedding.

M Alden

Yes, but in the Southeast United States?

[DD MacDonald]

Alden,

America is funny on this one as I believe somewhere in the hallowed pathos of E. Post is the recognition that "night" begins at and no earlier than 5PM interms of designating the appropriateness of dinner jackets or what we commonly refer to as "black tie".



DDM

[iammatt]

What is the history of all of this matching for weddings?

I have always disliked it and at my own wedding we just asked everybody to come in black tie... and they did!

[DD MacDonald]

Iammatt

I'm waiting for a call, so I'll hit this one.

By rumor, inuendo and the paths of half-truth, the issue with the "matching" of the groomsmen and the bridesmaids is an old fashioned strategy to protect the bride and the groom, like decoys.

The history and sorce of this urban legend? I have no clue. Other brothers of the Lounge with access to the deeper bits of arcania will have to weigh in.

DDM

[Degendorff]

What should one do, if the wedding starts at 1pm and lasts until 10 pm? Continue wearing the morning coat? First morning coat and then black tie? Black tie only?

[alden]

What should one do, if the wedding starts at 1pm and lasts until 10 pm? Continue wearing the morning coat?

Continue to wear the morning coat.

I had the impression that the magic cutoff time for daytime was 6:00 as opposed to 5:00. Is my Emily Post out of date?

M Alden

[Degendorff]

Continue to wear the morning coat.

Thank you.

I had the impression that the magic cutoff time for daytime was 6:00 as opposed to 5:00. Is my Emily Post out of date?

I only remember the saying "no browns after six", which should be in analogy with the beginning of the evening at 6pm.

[ccox]

Five o'clock is tricky. Mr. Alden is, of course, entirely correct that a wedding that takes place before six is considered "daytime" in terms of dress. That standard, like so many others, has relaxed. Five seems like the perfect time to me for cocktails in the bar before the wedding. But I am an Episcopalian.

Perhaps the bride might consider the black coat and (white or matching) vest with striped grey trousers? I'd choose a soft collar and a grey striped, patterend or check tie, white square. I like the idea of the pink flower at the lapel.

I was once in a wedding as head usher (we were in morning clothes) and received a tie whose background shade matched the other ushers', although the pattern was different. We looked very smart and I have fond memories of the day whenever I wear the tie today.

Also, a bit of unsolicited advice. The phrase "Absolutley, no problem. I'll have it taken care of." will solve all kinds of worries when used liberally with the mother of the bride.