The origins of Style

[alden]

There is a good deal of interest and debate among style aficionados relating to the origins of human magnetism, what makes one being attractive and another less so. It seems that the materialists who argue that style is a purely external phenomenon, judged in a social context, and something that is not only explainable but available at the touch of a VISA card seem to be taking the lead in current research.

So I thought it would be a good idea to review the evolution of modern materialism as it relates to the search for style. The real impetus to this vein of scientific research has its roots in the mid 80s when a young scientist announced her findings to the world.

http://youtu.be/PYJjGD5i45Y

Though there is little proof to draw a direct relationship between the movements, some have suggested that the hunt for the Higgs boson, also known as the Madonna molecule, took a decisive turn based on the young scientists’ research. Nine billon euros later there is some evidence that the Higgs exists. The dedicated team of professionals colliding between the magnificent French Alps and the succulent Italian plains have recently announced that in order to be sure of Higgs they will need another twenty or so billion and a new collider to be built between St. Tropez and the volcanic beaches of the Aeolian islands. The so called Tropez Collider will be manned by the same team of dedicated professionals until the truth about Higgs can be firmly declared. It might take another twenty years or until pensions are fully vested.

Now there are a few cynics who say, “if there were not a Higgs, we would surely have to invent one.” But this dissent is relatively ignored in serious science. There is however one truth that cannot be overlooked and whose transcendental force has shaken the scientific community at its very roots.

“Higgs is dead!”

But this has lead me to reveal today the discovery of a new molecule that I have called humbly the Alden’s boson. The idea is that there is a molecule at work in the universe that makes some matter majestic, most matter monotonous and the rest of matter mush. To add real substance to this exciting new discovery and initiative, I am happy to announce that I will personally be joining the team at the St. Tropez facility to conduct my own research and I am asking the scientific community for a grant of a modest five billion euros, less than half the budget for the Higgs.

The greater part of the budget will be invested to create the Alden collider in St. Tropez. Special facilities will be built where I will be able to, at no small risk to my own health, experience thousands of collisions with a select team of fellow scientists chosen from among the most beautiful and stylish women in the world. A series of low speed and high speed collisions conducted in appropriate laboratories especially designed for the purpose will certainly reveal the existence of the Alden boson in a series of clinically controlled big bangs. It might be a question of hours or decades, but the long sought for secret of the origins of Style will be finally and forever elucidated!

Cheers

Professor Emeritus Michael Alden

[NJS]

Seriously, though, in the midst of world financial crisis, world leaders are off with the faeries in funding this kind of thing; just as they were when they funded that bucolic, whiskered buffoon (whose name I have mercifully forgotten), to send some rocket to Mars at the same kind of cost - and the nutter lost the craft in space and shrugged.

[Frog in Suit]

1) With all due respect, Professor Higgs is not dead. He was recently interviewed about the discovery of "his" boson (I was about to type "the child of his boson" but one endeavours to maintain some standards).

2) I would rather be found dead in a ditch, wearing tan shoes, a navy suit and a tie whose stripes I am not entitled to, than alive in Saint Tropez. The only use of that place, as far as I am concerned, is to concentrate everything that I do my best to stay clear of: tasteless millionaires, Russian or not, expensive botoxed women, flashy jewelry and cars, yachts and "celebrities". While they all foul up what once, in the early part of the last century (Signac, Matisse...), must have been a lovely spot, the rest of us can behave like civilized humans in places like Paris.

3) May I ask by what institution Professor (emeritus) Alden's title was granted ? Hmmm...

Frog in Suit

[NJS]

I would rather be found dead in a ditch, wearing tan shoes, a navy suit and a tie whose stripes I am not entitled to, than alive in Saint Tropez.
Frog in Suit

Presumably, that's a double-breasted navy suit with hacking pockets?!

[Frog in Suit]

Obviously!
Although, on further reflection, a flannel chocolate brown DB with chalk stripes (and slanted pockets) might be an even greater abomination.
We are staring into the abyss here.
Frog in Suit

[NJS]

Obviously!
Although, on further reflection, a flannel chocolate brown DB with chalk stripes (and slanted pockets) might be an even greater abomination.
We are staring into the abyss here.
Frog in Suit

Maybe, then, to reach the Stygian depths (modern, western economists call it 'digging deep'), you really need to top it off with a pair of moc-croc tasselled loafers, in a fetching shade of cerise and a vermillion pocket hankerchief to 'complement' the Guards' tie?

[Frog in Suit]

May I also suggest contrasting buttonholes (mauve thread ? gold thread ?) to go with either navy or brown ?
I also find tassels on shoes loathsome. Age, perhaps...
Frog in Suit

[Costi]

The ungodly particle

[alden]

Seriously, though, in the midst of world financial crisis, world leaders are off with the faeries in funding this kind of thing

If we have learned anything from history, we should know that institutional science tends to get things wrong. The real advances in our knowledge has come from outsiders: from philosopher/scientists, from dungeons and from the Swiss post office. Having spent the combined budget of modern science since the time of Issac Newton to the present, did anyone doubt the white coats would find (invent) the Higgs?

The timing of the announcement is revealing. Though it did not make front page, there are reports from a team of American scientists who have seen a new particle in the same collider. This new particle is so unusual as to throw into doubt our current vision of the universe and the big bang. Research into this new partice in ongoing and the results of what the team have seen is being submitted to other scientists for study and confirmation.

As an almost desparate attempt to squash these heretics in their ungodly path, the Higgs confirmation was suddenly and unceremoniously announced. Hilarious at best except for taxpayers footing the mass of the bills, not particles.

Cheers

[alden]

1) With all due respect, Professor Higgs is not dead. He was recently interviewed about the discovery of "his" boson (I was about to type "the child of his boson" but one endeavours to maintain some standards).

Was one referring to Professor Higgs or his God particle?

Its a touching story, one worthy of a soapy Frank Capra movie. A young boson rises in rank all the way up to the Supreme deity. Science, the most successful modern religion, is mythologizing like never before to maintain awareness and market share.

I suppose people need to know there is a God in particle, even if it takes billions of taxpayer funds to invent one. Any superman worth his weight would cast derision and proclaim the Higgs dead!

As far as St Tropez is concerned. It was a nice enough place up until the mid eighties especially Grimaud not Port Grimaud. I always favored the Cap d'Antibes, Mougins etc.

Cheers

[davidhuh]

Seriously, though, in the midst of world financial crisis, world leaders are off with the faeries in funding this kind of thing

If we have learned anything from history, we should know that institutional science tends to get things wrong. The real advances in our knowledge has come from outsiders: from philosopher/scientists, from dungeons and from the Swiss post office.

Dear Michael,

please allow me to comment. In a financial crisis, many people have to live with less. This includes bankers, researchers and normal people like us. Cutting basic research budgets in such situations is usually not a very good idea. Such research has to be planned very long in advance (think of infrastructure as an example) and cannot be cut overnight because we are in trouble for a couple of years.

Science always gets things wrong. New truth is out to be challenged the moment the new "truth" is established. What I'm concerned about is the increasing pressure from both institutional and private research funders to focus on immediate economic impact. There is not enough space for dreamers.

There is increasing need for science to be understood by both funders and society at large - "transparency" is the buzz word. This requirement may compete with trust in research and researchers liberty. It is also a bit more challenging for basic research.

cheers, david

[alden]

There is not enough space for dreamers

On principle I avoid serious seriously. The original text was for laughs.

But I do agree with you that there is little space for dreamers these days.

And returning to the discussion of style for a minute..it is all about dreaming.

Cheers

[NJS]

Sorry to go back to the serious path but we have a scientist staying with us at the moment and he says that, basically, the 'Higgs particles' are the particles that give physical things inertia and stop them from flying off at vast speed when we just gently push them and that there may or may not be any practical benefit in discovering the reason for this self-evident phenomenon and in understanding it more. This is not top mention the unknown dangers in tampering with the building blocks of the universe. David - I entirely accept that the truth of any science is only good until ostensible proof is disproved but this exercise all seems to me to be just finding something to do, without any clear objective and, while there are still diseases on earth that greatly shorten human lives (for which cures could be researched with all this cash), it seems that priorities are mixed up: a little like fiddling while Rome burns - or having a picnic in the middle of a battle.

[Costi]

...but what if we stopped all fundamental research, that seems to be just finding something to do, with no clear objective, until all diseases are eradicated? One goes, another one comes...
Human lives are bound to be short in comparison to the life of humanity. I find the greatness of humanity often lies in some of these apparently purposeless endeavours. Otherwise, even ants are capable of providing for themselves.
The "Alden boson" is gratuitous, too - a generous expense of energy that doesn't spare itself and doesn't wonder about its purpose.
What is the purpose of love?
When you think of it, some (if not many, really) consider poetry a purposeless waste of time that shouldn't earn anyone a loaf of bread. Science has its own poetry, too...
Give space to dreamers, they may well be dreaming the world into being.

[Gruto]

...but what if we stopped all fundamental research, that seems to be just finding something to do, with no clear objective, until all diseases are eradicated? One goes, another one comes...
Human lives are bound to be short in comparison to the life of humanity. I find the greatness of humanity often lies in some of these apparently purposeless endeavours. Otherwise, even ants are capable of providing for themselves.
The "Alden boson" is gratuitous, too - a generous expense of energy that doesn't spare itself and doesn't wonder about its purpose.
What is the purpose of love?
When you think of it, some (if not many, really) consider poetry a purposeless waste of time that shouldn't earn anyone a loaf of bread. Science has its own poetry, too...
Give space to dreamers, they may well be dreaming the world into being.

Exactly, I couldn't agree more. Let's not view fundamental research in the perspective of fast business. Stay focused, keep dreaming although there is no clear goal