An interview with Bernhard Roetzel

[alden]

Uppercase,

“Give a Man a Fish, and You Feed Him for a Day. Teach a Man To Fish, and You Feed Him for a Lifetime.”

I started the London Lounge for young people who had no resources to learn about dress. My contributions are documented here for all to access freely and without charge. If they have been beneficial to someone in the last decade I am very pleased.

I come from the old school and am of another generation. I burnt quite a bit of shoe leather traveling the world to learn about tailors and the tailoring craft.I used the yellow pages to find them (and the yellow pages are still in print.)

I had a marvelous time developing my own style and it has been a capital resource for me in my own life. I am so glad I did it. It was great fun. And I would not deny that fun to any young man by merely handing out worthless info, worthless to the degree that it comes from someone who must have completely different tastes and needs.

Read my lips: You have to do certain things yourself for them to make any sense, have any value and provide even a modest amount of gratification. These are ancient values in the nano second to gratification internet world.

The young lawyer who would ask me what to wear to his firm would get this answer: “Wear a suit, polish your shoes and worry more about the quality of your work than the color of your tie.” That’s not the inspirational answer most would expect. But it is the truth.

Please don’t ask me to reveal what I would say if you asked me to teach you to be an English gentleman! In any case Shaw gave a full study of this queer desire for transformation in his "Pygmalion" which is always worth a read. Especially if you missed me playing Prof. Henry Higgins last summer.

The emphasis of the LL has been around the celebration of craft. I have to confess once again to have absolutely no interest in clothes. From an early age I learned that going without them was illegal, so I had to adapt and adopt wearing them. My only real concerns have been that they be functional and comfortable. Comfortable in the physical sense and comfortable to the degree they reflect who I am. To achieve these things very early on I found a good tailor very helpful and I grew to admire their craft just as I admire all skilled craftsmen of hand made goods. It may just be because I am so terribly unskilled manually myself that I admire people who are to a high degree.

What has always interested me are the qualities that make some people attractive, magnetically charged with what we call style, elegance, chic, charisma, presence etc. grasping at straws without really knowing what the blazes it is. And though we may not be able to define it we recognize it immediately when we see it or feel its presence near us.

Essentially my aim for the last decade has been to teach a young man to fish, to create his own style so he will never need anyone like me, anyone pretending to be like me, or me! And if I have empowered one young man to discover his own style, I have the great satisfaction to know it will feed him and provide pleasure to others for a lifetime.

Cheers

[Frans]

Thank you for a great discussion!

If you are shopping for wine, clothes or lawnmowers (...) read the reviews on amazon, (...) but you can’t buy style or the charisma that comes from having style. You can shop for a look. (...)

Clothes are an outer shell and can be wearing you, true.

If you will simply be happy with who you are and beam they joy of it to the world truthfully in all you do, you will have the same magnetism and presence of the great actor strutting and fretting on the stage.

This.

At the same time a great actor's "clothes" are a part of his magic, no? Like the Bavarian in his lederhosen. He's authentic.
Appearance and clothes may not be the essence of an actor's magnetism, but they're an instrument of it. All stylish people already played with it as a kid, at a stage when people like me were collecting stamps.

Also, all big names in history have known the effect of their clothes as part of their appearance. The sans-culottes of the French Revolution wearing those long trousers because the world of silk breeches, wigs and snuff appeared empty to them.

(...) No matter how many closet's full of thousands of dollars of clothes you have shopped for and bought, by living falsely in real circumstances, you fool no one but yourself. And the great hook of life is pulling you offstage, and you don’t even know it or aren’t willing to admit it.

This! A lot of "fashionista's" come to my mind in their need for attention and applause.

Still, as pointed out above by other readers, anyone of us can move from point A to a higher point B. He will not reach the magnetism of the great actors. He will make mistakes. But maybe he'll enjoy the process and be a little more pleasant to look at for his surroundings

Perhaps Mr. Roetzel should rather try to become a Bavarian

[rjman]

It took a long time coming, but I wrote a reply to our esteemed founder and to our favorite German ornithologist Roetzel that I take the liberty of linking here:

https://obeyfeline.tumblr.com/post/1623 ... ent-design

[davidhuh]

It took a long time coming, but I wrote a reply to our esteemed founder and to our favorite German ornithologist Roetzel that I take the liberty of linking here:

https://obeyfeline.tumblr.com/post/1623 ... ent-design

Dear Rjman,

your post is a delight, very well written and a pleasure to read. The "Vogelkundler" is especially lovely, although I would rather call him a "Rattenfänger".

Cheers, David

[whyescalar]

That is very good. Having met the writer in DC, I'd agree with both his and Mr. Alden's central themes.

[alden]

The apple tree never asks the beech how he shall grow, nor the lion, the horse, how he shall take his prey.

William Blake

RJ,

Yes, well we have all made errors and we all have hopefully learned something from them and evolved. I learned very early on in my life that my errors arose from not following my instincts and as it turned out, this included sartorial errors as well. I refused to listen to the little voice inside me that said “NO!” in favor of some kind of well intended advice or sales pitch.

That little voice, the voice that argues for our instincts is the direct ADSL link to our true self. That true self is part nature and part nurture, it is not “a completely thought-out truth whose elements were always present.” Since our true selves evolve so do the instincts of which they are merely the expression. And following our instincts is a skill that is learned and the sooner the better because “following your gut” is a matter of survival in everything to be undertaken in life.

Improvement makes strait roads, but the crooked roads without Improvement, are roads of Genius.

William Blake

I have always maintained that the young readers of the LL can avoid costly (clothing/style) mistakes no matter what the fashion of the day might be or what one’s level of experience is by learning to trust their Eye/I.

Look! What does your voice tell you? The most common messages are yes, no or maybe. Throw out the items that get “No” and “Maybe” immediately. If a well intended third party puts on the smarmy in support of a No/Maybe, repeat after me “Screwey-vous off!”

The next step is to assemble all the Yes votes and that is the fun part. Best of all, it happens all by itself as each of these little streams coalesce into the river that is you.

It’s not about better or worse. It’s not about improvement. The revelation of our true self is most certainly not “the realization of a beautiful sculpture already imagined within a block of marble.” Instead, it is a completely shameless expression of life unique to the moment. And it will be different an hour later, it will be different as fashion changes, it will be different in every age of life. But what it won't be is a lie. What is won't be is false.

He whose face gives no light, shall never become a star.

William Blake

I do not think we can ever really “know” ourselves, but we can accept and be ourselves. And we can like ourselves. That is the fundamental hurdle most humans never pass. And you see it clearly in people who constantly want to use clothing to disguise and hide themselves. Their style is an ever changing masquerade designed to quell the disgust they feel for being too short, too ugly, too fat, too thin, too (fill in the blank.) And they can come up with a million reasons, details, fashions, lapel widths, trends and statistics to make what is nothing more than shame seem like “trying.” Stop trying and start being!

The day Helmut Berger walked stark naked from the pool into the living room of the house he shared with my girlfriend while we were having coffee is a great example. He was handsome. He was an Adonis. He was a star. But what made it all beautiful was his ease born of a completely shameless acceptance and celebration of self. Be like Helmut!

The eagle never lost so much time, as when he submitted to learn of the crow.

William Blake

Learning to take advice is a skill. Listen! What does your voice tell you?
Deal with competent people. Search them out and listen, listen, listen to your voice and it will clothe you in ease and comfort.

As regards changes in fashion and how one might look in clothes worn thirty years ago. That seems to me to be fashionista blog material. What I can say is that clothes I wore forty years ago still look pretty good to me, when I have shed the five kilos that is.

RJ I hope you don’t mind that I took the occasion of your excellent post to ruminate a bit on Style. Hope to see you again soon!

One final piece of advice you guys:

“Search less and you will find more.”

Michael Alden

Cheers....be happy!

[alden]

It just occurred to me having reread the above post that there is another very important matter to be discussed.

Never spend a nanosecond of life’s precious time wondering if another person thinks you are elegant or have style. “Does my girlfriend, boss, favorite style blogger, neighbor, analyst, (fill in the blank) think I have style?” Just by allowing doubt to fester inside your brain, you have simultaneously answered yourself. And let me explain why.

Human beings transmit enormous amounts of energy. We call it aura. And it can be many things, positive, negative, neutral, fearful, joyful, charming, static, seductive…it changes, it intensifies, but it is always present and it is strong. Think of the great actor who, by allowing a specific thought to seep into his brain at a precise moment, is able to radiate an emotion to the very back of a theater without saying a word. That is aura.

We feel other’s aura but not our own. And the man that allows doubt, fear and resulting shame to lodge in his brain, sends a message of doubting fearfulness and shame to the world via his aura. And this doubt, fear and shame radiated to the world is a cold blooded style killer. The poor man infected with this malady may not even suspect it, he feels none of the symptoms, but we around him feel it like a megaton of bricks.

The doubt, fear and shame so corrosive to style normally seeks relief in the great bandaid of clothing, gobs of it! “Help! Doctor! Another two ticket pockets please!” You see, clothing is there to provide comfort and healing. And in this way the process of foppish adornment is launched, sustained and perpetuated.

One way to start having style is to stop wondering and torturing yourself about it. Obsession is never elegant.

So just relax and let yourself just be what you are. And if you can do just that and be happy with it, you will enchant the world.

Cheers

[Luca]

How very well put. I do care if the people around me think me competent or kind or dependable, but 'style' is just for fun.

[couch]

Indeed. And I suspect, Luca, that you don't anxiously survey your acquaintances to see how they perceive you. You just behave in ways that are kind, competent, and dependable to satisfy your own standards, and trust that the reputation follows. Same principle.

[uppercase]

Re-reading this thread started in 2010....well, really the content is enormous and could be the subject of several Ph.D theses.

However, having waded through this weighty subject, I consider the quote below as the take away message here.

Dress is one of the very keys of seduction.

Could this be really be true ??

[hectorm]

Dress is one of the very keys of seduction.

Could this be really be true ?

Is one of the very keys, indeed, but I would rank it only amongst the second or third tier keys. Dress like a slob and you would have a tougher job seducing anyone (in case you wanted it).

[alden]

Dress is one of the very keys of seduction.

No and No as regards two major definitions of seduction.

No, if you consider seduction in terms of a premeditated series of actions, having a beginning and end point, that lead one party to gain the affection of another.

As in:

You choose a beautiful young girl, you soften her heart with judicious flattery, you watch your own slow but daily progress, you use eloquence and sighs and tears to attack her innocence and inhibitions, you break down all her little scruples, one by one, you overcome the morals she’s so proud of, and gently lead her to the destination—it’s a marvelous process.

—Don Juan, Moliere

(You'll wind up in jail these days if you put that Moliere into action. )

If , on the other hand, seduction is a constant state of being that issues from the profound acceptance of self that is the true source of magnetism (or “style” as described in various ways in this thread) then your dress becomes a complimentary effect of the acceptance of self that is the cause. Dress does not make you who you are. Dress is the result of who you are. So dress, being a passive, secondary element, cannot be a key to anything, much less, seduction.

A man who has “style” seduces the world. Seduction is a constant, it is an attitude that has never been reflected on, it is a way of being. All objects and beings come under its spell. A butterfly, a bank employee, a taxi driver, a kitten, a doorman, the view of a river, a stunning brunette will feel the same and equal seductive presence in the course of a single day. The stunning brunette will be swept off her feet, if and only if the butterfly, the river, the kitten, the bank employee, the doorman and taxi driver were equally moved before her. She was just the next to wander into the path and onto the rails of a charm locomotive.

Tapping into this great energy requires nothing and the more nothing you bring to bear, the more powerfully it will resonate.

Cheers

[davidhuh]

Dear Michael,

the short version according to Balzac: "Un homme devient riche; il naît élégant"

Cheers, David

[hectorm]

I now know why I never chased too many ladies when in Germany (bold faced lie.)
This comment comes from a world I don’t know and a human nature I am unfamiliar with. Dress is one of the very keys of seduction.

No and No as regards two major definitions of seduction.

Michael, now you lost me. Uppercase was quoting you when he asked the question, but now you say NO to your original statement.
Were you using another definition of seduction?

[alden]

Michael, now you lost me. Uppercase was quoting you when he asked the question, but now you say NO to your original statement. Were you using another definition of seduction?

No, I was rebutting this statement, and will do so in more detail now:

“They know that many women are not very fond of men who are too handsome and too well-dressed.”

A woman is many things, at many times in many ways. That’s why we love them so. But among her many talents, a woman is the most sophisticated “affectation-meter” known to man. Not even Hewlett or Packard or both of them combined could construct a scientific measuring instrument as sensitive to fakery and fraud. It is an innate sense, an instinct for survival, this ability to sense weakness in potential mates. And men who are “too well dressed” are generally working “too hard” to cover that weakness up in raiments. A woman will suss that out in a nanosecond.

"Jamais honteux n'eut belle amie"

On the other hand, strength will drive a woman to complete distraction. And the workings of her chemistry is equally fine in finding this quality in an appropriate mate. And to the extent that a man’s dress reflects who he really is and not who he is pretending to be, that strength comes across in waves strong enough to knock her down, pick her up or transport her to the very reaches of the universe.

In this regards, dress, as opposed to foppish adornment or disguise, is a key to seduction.

PS: The more fascinating question is whether woman are naturally programmed to favor ugly or plain men as opposed to the handsome. You’ll have my thoughts on that subject presently.

Cheers