The London Lounge

My name is Arty Giani, and I am a creation of Mr. Alden. Let me explain, I really do exist in a lot of forms and under many different names. You see, I am a producer of MTM and RTW garments masquerading as a bespoke tailor.

Now Mr. Alden invited me to respond to your questions. The idea is this: what questions can you ask that I will have a tough time answering and that will reveal the industrial reality of my advertised “bespoke” and “sartorial” product?

What you readers will learn from the questions and my answers should prepare you to unmask others like me who try to deceive the young and inexperienced. If you prepare properly you will be able to avoid me and costly mistakes. In doing so you will be able to reserve your hard earned money for real artisans who merit your respect and custom.

Let me have you toughest questions? How can you find me out? Go ahead, shoot!

Arty Giani
“Bespoke purveyor to moguls and to kings”

Mr. Giani

I was about to say its a pleasure to have you here, but your presence is a merely a necessary evil. Hopefully your answers will be instructive.

I would like you to make me an unlined coat, natural shoulder, without padding and with the lightest canvas possible in the chest. The coat should be hand sewn.

M Alden

I would like you to make me an unlined coat, natural shoulder, without padding and with the lightest canvas possible in the chest. The coat should be hand sewn.

Mr. Alden,

It's funny you request this kind of a coat. I am working on just such a model. It's just that I am so very busy these days, what with fitting Prince Charles and all. Look, why don't you come back and see me in about six months. OK?

But, listen to one thing. A coat like the one you request will probably have drape and I really would advise you against it, its a bit informal looking. There maybe some pleating in the chest and sleevehead, well..I suppose you know what kind of coat you want. But I like a very clean and starched look. Our sartorial line "Mr. Clean" model is a three button coat and if you order now there is a special "three ticket pockets for the price of one" special offer. What do you say?

Arty
"Bespoke purveyor to moguls and kings"

Arty Giani:

Can you do things like put five buttons on the sleeve, and make the last buttonhole in a contrasting color like Parisian huckster Djay?

Can you do things like put five buttons on the sleeve, and make the last buttonhole in a contrasting color like Parisian huckster Djay?

Dear RJ

What exceptional taste! I will match your five buttons and raise you two! Seven buttons, two of them will be in semi-precious stones. Voila!

What color lining would you prefer? Remember, this is bespoke so your wish as to ornaments is my command.

Would you like the 24 inch long hacking pockets like DJ? You know I made a pair of bespoke pajamas with hacking pockets for a famous film star the other day!

I look forward to working with you on your bespoke project.

Arty Giani
"Bespoke purveyor to moguls and kings"

Look, why don't you come back and see me in about six months. OK?

six months later...

Mr Gianni

I have come back to see about making the natural shouldered, unlined coat. Do you remember?

Dear Mr. Alden

Thanks so much for the visit. I am still so occupied I have not been able to make any progress on your request. The Maharajah of Hautoncul has given me a royal warrant and a commission to dress not only him but his entire entourage as well.

You know I've given your request a good deal of thought. A natural coat is very young, don't you think? I mean for one who has a good figure, it puts these attributes into focus, but you really should think about something more formal, more severe. My top of the line "Mr. Dreadful " coat in DB would suit you so very well. It is made of a lovely 8 ounce worsted especially made in India for the Maharajah of Hautoncul, its his Estate Worsted. This exclusive cloth is draped over a specially constructed canvas made of 15 ounce horsehair combed in Kentucky from pure thoroughbreds. It would do you so much better than that natural coat you mentioned.

Come back in another six months, if you really must have that natural coat. In that time maybe I will have made some progress.

Regards,

Arty Giani
"bespoke purveyor to the stars and maharajahs"

Mr. Giani, do you think that you could substitute Kevlar for the horse hair canvas? Something bullet proof world help in my line of work. Or do you think starched horsehair be suffice?

Dear Mr. MacDonald

I think you have made a great point. Technology has made a great impact on traditional bespoke. For instance, who would have thought tailors would have the high tech glues available today. A coat can be made entirely by hand without the use of thread, a little dab’ll do ya, Mr. MacDonald.

The big problem of Kevlar is weight, its just too light. It cannot hope to match a good old 15-20 ounce horsehair. On the other hand, for gluing the Kevlar is an optimum product. There are always trade offs in things sartorial.

If you want something that is really protective and elegant, you might want to try our “Exceptional” sartorial line. The 3 button “Old Ironsides” is a great example. Instead of canvas we have used pieces of vintage iron torn from the hulls of the Monitor and Merrimack. Of course we can only make a few of these exclusive coats because of intervention of the EPA in the States. We did make a wonderful coat for a famous NY defense attorney, before the operation was shut down by the feds though.

Ciao bello

Arty Giani
“bespoke purveyor to sailors and defense attorneys”

How does your work compare to Henri de la Piscine or Baron Le Chat Mort?

Dear RJman

Henri de la Piscine still uses prehistoric methods of tailoring: handcutting, sewing, needles, irons, steam…Gads, sounds more like the Spanish Inquisition than making clothes.

We are at the forefront of sartorial technology and Henri is puddles to our sea.

I am not familiar with the Baron LeChat Mort, but if he is an aristocat he will certainly be one of our clients.

Best regards,

Arty Giani
“Bespoke purveyor to pool builders and veterinarians”

Mr. Giani

My approach to proving you are not a bespoke tailor is different than that of the rest of members that have asked you until now. I myself am young and inexperienced, and thus I need to be very careful with the clothes I purchase. As I do not have enough knowledge, I believe, to prove you are not a bespoke artisan, I use here questions that work more by logic than by knowledge.

1. Are the garments you sell fully hand stitched? Is there full craftsmanship in your production? (I know these are primary obvious questions but in reality if I were to find out if a man is trying to sell me a suit as bespoke without it being the case, this is what I would ask. this question doesn't prove totally anything, but it gives a line to start making an idea of the truth)

2. Can you produce for me a garment, let say a jacket, which shares nothing with any other garment you have ever created? (Another obvious question, and also another great question to find out the truth in your use of the term 'bespoke'. although it might be the case that your answer to the question is positive and you are not a bespoke artisan, it is most probable that you are)

3. If I ask you to make for me a double-breasted 6x2 frock coat in Barathea 14 Oz weave from H Lesser, lengthed just to the bottom of the knee, with minimum shoulder padding, medium-width separately-cut lapels with grosgrain facings, small armholes, low waist seam, no outer pockets, could you do it with out it looking like a theatre or film costume but being completely adequate for any occasion it would be required back then, say, a day meeting for the treaty of Versailles? If you could you would enter a reduced list of the best bespoke tailors worldwide, including Knize and Rubinnaci.

4. From your comments regarding monarchs and aristocrats, I suppose they are your common clients. And you make special garments for them which are sometimes unique, as it could be any costume of any asian or african monarch/leader. Those garments might satisfy points 1 and 2, but that doesn't make you bespoke: it makes you a 'custom' tailor, who produces garments to request. Custom is not the same as bespoke. And I think that with this statement, I've come to the point that can lead to achieving the purpose of this thread.

PS: Mr. Alden, this thread is a great idea, thanks for it.

Guille, rest assured that Mr Giani can produce all 18th century garments you request, and was in fact involved as a consultant for the garments made for Jason Schwartzmann as Louis XVI in Sofia Coppola's film Marie Antoinette. The next time you attend a court function at Versailles for Eude de Bourbon you will be perfectly attired.

Arturo, a serious question based on your original post: When a customer sees you, do you attempt to foist on him the super 300s Loro Piana baby pashtunguanomina, or do you show him sober and substantial books from Lesser?

rjman wrote:Guille, rest assured that Mr Giani can produce all 18th century garments you request, and was in fact involved as a consultant for the garments made for Jason Schwartzmann as Louis XVI in Sofia Coppola's film Marie Antoinette. The next time you attend a court function at Versailles for Eude de Bourbon you will be perfectly attired.

The frock coat is in fact a 19th century garment, but I get your point. I added point 4 whiles you where posting I believe, and I think you will agreee that custom and bespoke is not the same.

Dear Guille

We will have to wait to hear what Maestro Giani replies, but your question number 2 is an excellent one. To the true bespoke conoscenti it must strike a bell.

One tailor has handmade over fifty bespoke garments for me over the years and none of them is the same. Every time I go to pick up a garment, the same curiosity and interest is there to see the latest result of a long standing cooperation. Giani should make mincemeat of the question, but he will be troubled by it.

Question number one is a good attack from the technical point of view but the wily Giani should have a deft pare in store.

Questions three and four approach from a styling point of view and seek to expose the differences inherent in custom order and execution vs bespoke conception and crafting.

Well done

M Alden