Shoes and the indoors

[Frederic Leighton]

In England the general attitude is to remove your shoes when you remove your hat I quickly appreciated the pros of this habit, which I originally perceived as quite exotic... although now that I think about it, I've never heard of any Italian child who died because of bacteria collected while playing on the kitchen floor. The whole attitude towards shoes is totally different from what I was used to - before, I had never seen a girl walking barefoot in a train station or someone walking out of an office wearing blue suit and trainers, but this is another story.

I often visit the homes of my piano students and leave the shoes near the front door for the time of the lesson. When going back one hour later, I occasionally find dogs playing with them. Now, without seeming rude or resorting to poisonous sprays, how do you deal with this and with the other cons, like leaving your shoes without shoe-tree inside or putting them on without the help of a shoe horn? Hmm... I might just change my rates. I also confess keeping a little and beautiful Victorian shoe horn in the pocket of my coat all the time; I use it as much as the pen that I keep in the other pocket

I find quite sad the thought of wearing decent shoes only the times I can keep my feet in them or my eyes on them. How is it for you?

Regards,
f

[Melcombe]

Tricky - since there still seems to be a good many homes where keeping shoes on is not a problem. And the choice of 'on-or-off' isn't signalled from the size style or wealth of the home concerned either.

I rarely make home visits these days, but I do recall the dilemma; one guiding principle being that if the household included a pet - especially a dog, I would keep my shoes on. Likewise in the countryside (where the majority of my visits were) I would frequently be carrying rubber boots in my car and therefore clean shoes to put on inside - or at least some thick boot-lining over socks to protect my Gamarellis if we were concluding discussions in the 'front room'.

If you are regularly visiting a no-shoe home, I would hope that bringing a discreet bag containing some carpet slippers, would be well received and appreciated. The bag will then provide a refuge for your shoes pro tem. Of course the problem then is finding some decent slippers that will go well with a suit. My last pair of Churchs leather lined (the key feature!) slippers are still going strong after 10 years' use but they are almost too discreet - perhaps a pair of Turkish mules in a muted tapestry would herald the artistic flair of a professore di musica maestro ?

The shoe horn is a must.

[Luca]

A good compromise in a typical two-story London home is shoes ON downstairs (it would NEVER occur to me to ask my guets to pad around in their socks) where it´s hard flooring and OFF upstairs where it is often carpeted floors. Myself, I wear slippers at home.

[Frederic Leighton]

[...] If you are regularly visiting a no-shoe home, I would hope that bringing a discreet bag containing some carpet slippers, would be well received and appreciated. The bag will then provide a refuge for your shoes pro tem. Of course the problem then is finding some decent slippers that will go well with a suit. [...]

Dear Melcombe,

Many thanks for the feedback and sorry for this very late reply. The solution you propose is the perfect answer to my dilemma! I was sure that someone with deeper roots in this land would have the right answer! I've just come back from Italy with a new pair of nice, thick socks to wear indoor without shoes and over finer socks(*). The dark tartan pattern goes very well with all my suits. The company that makes them (and that also provides all my Filo di Scozia socks) has been doing just socks since 1912!

Kind regards,
f

(*) Accidentally, I also took with me two lengths of navy-blue serge cloth for two blazers. They come from the defunct woollen mill where Dad worked for over 40 years. Weight: 575 and 475g/m...

[bond_and_beyond]

Interesting to see how these things are viewed differently in different countries. In Norway (and other Scandinavian countries I believe) it would be considered rude to not take ones shoes off when entering someone's home. I guess it may have to do with the general tidiness / cleanliness obsession that seems to have befallen Norwegian mothers of all generations

BB

[hectorm]

In Norway (and other Scandinavian countries I believe) it would be considered rude to not take ones shoes off when entering someone's home.

Does that include cocktail parties and other more or less formal ocassions?
When you´re asking a woman to remove her shoes, you are asking her to shave off 3, 4 or even more inches from her height (not to mention that her elegant long dress or pants will be dragging on the floor).

[bond_and_beyond]

Does that include cocktail parties and other more or less formal ocassions?
When you´re asking a woman to remove her shoes, you are asking her to shave off 3, 4 or even more inches from her height (not to mention that her elegant long dress or pants will be dragging on the floor).

It often does include asking the ladies removing their high heels during parties etc too, but this has more to do with most Norwegian houses having hardwood / parquet floors which easily get ruined by high heels.

BB

[Rob O]

I witnessed this at a party in London a couple of years ago. The beatiful oak flooring was destroyed and needed replacement. The owner was devastated.

[Luca]

Really? I feel sorry for the person in question but I'm surprised. I grew up around parquet and other hard flooring and I don't recall people padding around in socks much; certainly not at a party. About once every 15-20 years, it would have to be sanded and re-sealed but that was that.
That said, here in London many otherwise polite people have a lamentable habit of not wiping their feet on the doormat at all or only perfunctorily and that does make a difference.

[couch]

I think that the difference may have something to do with changes in fashion for women's shoes. Dressy pumps with medium (5-7 cm) heels with heel contact area of ~4 cm2 used to be ubiquitous for ladies, and spike or stiletto heels were special-occasion items and considered a bit racy in some quarters. My partner laments that now it's impossible for her to find anything but spikes or clunky wedges in addition to flats.

It's the tiny surface area of the spike that exponentially concentrates the weight per cm2 and dents even seasoned hardwood floors. Some decades ago, a much smaller percentage of women attending a function in a domestic setting would have been wearing spikes. I think the only polite solution today is for hardwood-floor owners to include a "no spike heels, please--hardwood floors" note on the invitation along with the general indication of formality of dress. That at least allows the ladies to prepare ensembles that are flattering and function properly (no dragging hems) with whatever non-spike shoes they choose.

As to the general habit of no shoes for visitors indoors, it is still quite rare in my experience in the U.S. Only one set of acquaintances does it, as they keep a Japanese-style house. They provide a selection of slippers by the door for visitors. And of course, no dogs inside--that would kind of defeat the purpose of shoe removal, since the dogs must be walked outside a couple of times a day.

[bond_and_beyond]

As to the general habit of no shoes for visitors indoors, it is still quite rare in my experience in the U.S. Only one set of acquaintances does it, as they keep a Japanese-style house. They provide a selection of slippers by the door for visitors. And of course, no dogs inside--that would kind of defeat the purpose of shoe removal, since the dogs must be walked outside a couple of times a day.

Many years ago I was an exchange student in a US high school. I was staying with a wonderful host family. Before leaving for the States I had to go to an information meeting in Norway for the new exchange students where we were told about various rules and customs of US life. One point they made clear was that as opposed to what is common in Norway, people would often wear shoes indoors in the US. In addition we should expect houses to be less tidy and that US families were not so obsessed about having clean floors etc.

BB

[Melcombe]

Many years ago I was an exchange student in a US high school. I was staying with a wonderful host family. Before leaving for the States I had to go to an information meeting in Norway for the new exchange students where we were told about various rules and customs of US life. One point they made clear was that as opposed to what is common in Norway, people would often wear shoes indoors in the US. In addition we should expect houses to be less tidy and that US families were not so obsessed about having clean floors etc.

BB

I remember a visiting French student had confided his mild surprise before returning home that every English house he had visited had a bathroom, indeed often more than one - and with hot & cold running water too! His mother had warned him that Les Anglos were not inclined to bathe more than once a month (whether they needed it or not, presumably...)

Im pleased to say that we still keep in touch with him 30+ years later. Catching up on news usually starts with asking each other whether we received any decent bars of soap for Christmas - our wives are still unaware why this causes us so much amusement.

[bond_and_beyond]

I remember a visiting French student had confided his mild surprise before returning home that every English house he had visited had a bathroom, indeed often more than one - and with hot & cold running water too! His mother had warned him that Les Anglos were not inclined to bathe more than once a month (whether they needed it or not, presumably...)

Im pleased to say that we still keep in touch with him 30+ years later. Catching up on news usually starts with asking each other whether we received any decent bars of soap for Christmas - our wives are still unaware why this causes us so much amusement.

That is quite funny given the reputation the French have for personal hygiene! At any rate, my exchange stay in the US did confirm that many liked wearing their shoes / boots indoors, a habit I eventually also got into. Attempting to do so when I returned to Norway was not welcomed by my mother, and I quickly dropped the habit.

BB

[Frederic Leighton]

[...] I rarely make home visits these days, but I do recall the dilemma; one guiding principle being that if the household included a pet - especially a dog, I would keep my shoes on. [...]

I am called to face a new struggle: that of very friendly dogs jumping on my hopsack trousers; even worse than cream flannel! I read once that most animals (shall we include humans?) tend to be particularly friendly with those people who pay the least attention to them, finding this a very attractive behaviour. I don't know, soon I'll be travelling with a suitcase of piano books, indoors over-socks, shoe-horns and whips.

[Russell]

I am called to face a new struggle: that of very friendly dogs jumping on my hopsack trousers; even worse than cream flannel!.....
I don't know, soon I'll be travelling with a suitcase of piano books, indoors over-socks, shoe-horns and whips.

That's you & the student sorted out but how about packing some defence against the dog as well?

Regards
Russell